Fútbol’s Hottest Little Bachelor is Officially Off the Market

23 Jul

That’s right. Our beloved little James Rodriguez, a youngster of only 23 years, has sealed the deal with Champions League titleholders Real Madrid for the upcoming six seasons.

We all knew it was coming, but nothing was official OFFICIAL yet.  However, this morning I woke up and my news feed was flooded, and I mean FLOODED, with Real Madrid’s announcement of James’ move from Monaco to Madrid.  And, goodness gracious, he cost an arm and a leg…$108 million, making him the fourth most expensive soccer player in history.  Guess who has three of the four most expensive players? You guessed right.

My question is, where are they gonna put him? Florentino, can you explain this to me?

Check out the pics from his presentation.  I can’t type much; I worked out my arms at the gym today and now I can barely move them.

Making their relationship status official

Making their relationship status official

Is that a wedding band?

Is that a wedding band?

They're all thrilled with their trophy wife

They’re all thrilled with their trophy wife

Look! His shirt matches with the number of Real Madrid's Champions League titles!

Look! His shirt matches with the number of Real Madrid’s Champions League titles!

He's taking on Mesut Ozil's number

He’s taking on Mesut Ozil’s number

James moved from Porto to AC Monaco for $60 million, now he moves to Madrid for $105 million

James moved from Porto to AC Monaco for $60 million, now he moves to Madrid for $105 million

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